that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
