I wanna bring you to show and tell
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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