Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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