when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
