? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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