i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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