Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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