Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
