There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
