So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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