Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
