i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
