The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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