i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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