I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
