Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
