Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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