I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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