You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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