In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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