Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
