yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
3 2 1 whiskey
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
