Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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