I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
