well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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