He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
