Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
