Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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