I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
