hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
did i walk over a car last night?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
