Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Your cock deserves a montage
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
