the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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