Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
