Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
