omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
