She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
