Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
