Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
