it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
