Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
