i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
