Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
