Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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