Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
