Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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