i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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