just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
