Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Alive.
So much puke
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
