dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Too much gin, very little bucket
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
