Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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