He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i dont even know how to be here
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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