Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
